I've hit my knees more times than I can count and told the Lord that He picked the wrong person for this job. Yes, I love this mission. I love the children. I fight with everything in me against the forces of hell for them. I'm ferociously passionate about rescuing these kids and and I'm not afraid to take on the injustices that bring them harm, even if it puts me in harms way. However, I've felt inadequate that I just can't do enough. I'm just not good enough for the job. I run out resources. I exhaust myself in trying to figure out how to do more, give more, rescue more. The barrel runs dry and I toss and turn in anguish trying to figure out how to fill it back up again. God, you could have picked anyone else for this job more qualified than me.
Ever been there?
Parents who feel they aren't good enough and failing their children. Husbands who struggle with feelings of inadequacy because they're behind on paying bills. Women who don't feel worthy of love because they condemn themselves for not being thin enough, pretty enough, or smart enough. Pastors who feel unworthy to stand behind a pulpit because there is something deep within them they are struggling to overcome. The hard working mom that feels worthless as a mother and carries so much guilt because she has to work to put food on the table, not allowing enough time in the day to spend with her kids. There are so many examples of why we beat ourselves up over and over again because we don't feel like we are good enough or worthy to fulfill the roles God has placed in our lives.
This is not the weight that God wants us to carry. We have to remind ourselves that when these feelings of being worthless, unworthy, a failure, and inadequate creep in to our minds, we must immediately rebuke those thoughts and renew our mind with God's word. We must remind ourselves daily of who we are IN HIM! If the devil can defeat you in your mind before you do anything else, he's rendered you ineffective and he's won the battle. The battle is for your mind! Choose your words and thoughts wisely. They are weapons of good or evil.
I've posted below scriptures to remind you who you are in Christ! Print them out, post it somewhere you can see it, and read them out load to yourself every day. By reminding yourself daily who you are, you are also reminding the enemy who he is up against!
These feelings of being unworthy often times stem from injuries, trauma, and pain of our past. Abuse, neglect, not being encouraged by parents, verbal abuse, failures, etc there are many different situations that can attribute to those feelings. I see it all the time in these children. They grow up in environments of so much abuse and neglect. Their pain is so deep and profound. They fell unworthy and they feel they have no value. I want to change that. I want them to know how much they are loved with this unexplainable love of our Heavenly Father. They CAN heal from those wounds, but it takes time, patience, and people who will fight on their behalf to provide the resources they need to make it happen. This is our heart. This is what we've committed ourselves to do. I don't want to just fill hungry bellies. Oh, don't get me wrong, they desperately need their physical needs met and I could never walk away from those needs. God calls us to meet those needs. But, these kids need to heal. If they don't heal and understand who they are in Christ, they will grow up defeated by the enemy and will repeat the same abusive, neglectful, and sinful cycles of their generations before them. Our mission is to change that! We can disciple and grow more warriors for the Kingdom through the programs we have implemented - we are about changing lives!
I titled the subject of this email "It's over" for a reason, because I want you to know this.
We've all reached that moment in our lives at one time or another where we felt like "it's over." When you've said, I can't go on, there's nothing more to give, I've exhausted all my resources, well then you've reached that "it's over" moment. But remember that God determines when it's over. If you are walking with Him, and put your faith in Him and His Word, you are sheltered in His mighty arms. Don't give up just yet. Your miracle is near.
Instead commit with me to this:
It's over - No more condemnation. I'm not going to beat myself up anymore. I'm going to stand on God's word and know who I am in Christ.
It's over - I won't doubt God's faithfulness any longer. He will meet my needs because He has promised to do so in His word. He loves me with an unexplainable enormous sacrificial love. I am His child.
It's over - I'm done living in fear. I'm not giving up on myself, my husband, wife, kids,or my family because I know that God is not finished with us yet. I will have faith and believe my prayers will be answered.
We are praying for you friend. We're standing in faith with you that God is answering your prayers right now in ways that you may not even know or see. It's not over. There is hope! Thank you for staying in the fight with us for these children. We are standing as well, trusting and believing God that it's not over just yet for us either. There is much work to be done. The needs are great and sometimes overwhelming. But God gives us the grace to persevere and we have no plans to give up on these kids.
We appreciate you all so very much. May God bless you abundantly today in every way imaginable. May you feel His loving arms hold you tightly through every storm and trial. May the devil tremble every morning when you put your feet on the floor because he sees your unshakable faith annihilating every attack he throws at you because YOU KNOW who you are in Christ! Walk in it!
We love you all.
Bless An Orphan